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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391671">Epistemic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KBstories/pseuds/KBstories'>KBstories</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love and Other Revolutions [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Gen, Heat is MVP actually, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Nakamaship, Wano Arc (One Piece)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:28:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391671</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KBstories/pseuds/KBstories</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>ep·i·ste·mic</i> (adj.)<br/>Related to knowledge; cognitive.</p><p>*</p><p>Killer struggles with SMILE and Heat tries their best.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eustass Kid/Killer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love and Other Revolutions [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Epistemic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Unbetaed.</p><p>Set in Wano. Spoilers for Act Two of Wano.</p><p>Content warning for Body Dysmorphia/BDD. This is a coda to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24560473/chapters/59312350">Ontological</a>, specifically Chapter 2.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Killer is hiding.</p><p>Heat knows it. Kidd knows it, so does the crew, and it’s safe to say Killer knows that they know, too. From the moment he and Kidd came home – miraculously alive and whole, Kidd’s wrecked prosthesis aside – Killer disappeared into the captain’s cabin and has yet to show.</p><p>To the East the sun starts to rise, piercing through the wafts of mist gathering over the ocean. It’s been two days.</p><p>In a sense, it’s nothing new. Sort of hard to miss, actually, when their First Mate insists on wearing a helmet most hours of the day. Hard to imagine it ever being any other way, certainly. Killer’s face is a mystery every Kidd Pirate learns to live with, sooner or later.</p><p>Everyone but Heat, of course. Not that any of them had planned on there ever being an exception to the rule. It just… happened.</p><p>Years ago, under a clear-blue sky, an all-out brawl with some Marines ended up dropping two unlikely allies into Heat’s life. Being around Kidd and Killer had been just as chaotic and bloody and <em>fun</em> then as it is now; the day Heat met the duo that would soon become their family is the same day the mask got knocked loose. Killer was a tall, lanky guy then, barely scratching twenty-one and already lethal with those scythes of his.</p><p>Heat hadn’t thought much of it, really: When all was said and done, knuckles bruised and scrapes tended to, Heat had picked the mask up and given it back with a soft-spoken, “This is yours, isn’t it?”</p><p>Looking straight into pale blue eyes over lilac-tinted lips, and they had but a second to take in the surprise blooming there before they’d gotten a furious Kidd to the throat for their trouble.</p><p>A fond memory, in hindsight. An important one, too, given it led Heat to the best decision they’ve ever made, and a journey that brought them all the way to Wano Country’s shores.</p><p>It had been after Wire joined the crew and Killer started wearing the mask around the clock that Heat had realized the significance it held. That Killer, for all his cunning in battle and easy-going nature anywhere else, is slow to trust, and rarely does so completely.</p><p>So far, that privilege belongs to Kidd and Kidd alone.</p><p>And it was fine, getting to know Killer through that barrier he refuses to put away. No one gets to pick the scars they carry, and if this is how Killer deals with his, who’s to tell him otherwise?</p><p>Well, it <em>had been</em> fine until Killer returned to them dressed like one of Wano’s own, a piece of fabric draped across his face and those same blue eyes glinting behind wild strands of hair, wide with fear.</p><p>Until the choice he’d been inching towards was taken away from him, and <em>that</em> is what’s truly unforgiveable about it.</p><p>There had been so much else to worry about, at the time. With Kidd steadily recovering from a state little better than death-warmed-over and the Killer-shaped space in their midst remaining empty, Heat watches the days come and go and the crew grow anxious, and they <em>worry</em>.</p><p>What Heat would give, to return to the days a mindless little gesture had the power to change the course of history.</p><p>*</p><p>It’s too early for anyone but the skeleton crew of the nightshift to be awake. With Doc on lookout, the chances of fresh coffee are pretty high, and so Heat shuffles to the galley, one hand on the door and the other pressed against a wide yawn.</p><p>A yawn that freezes on their face, as does the rest of them. On his tippy toes, arm reaching for the straws kept safe on the topmost shelf, Killer freezes too.</p><p>They stare at each other. Rather, Heat stares at Killer’s mask and can feel him staring back. Then Heat’s brain kicks back into gear and they manage a mumbled, “Coffee?”, to which Killer points behind himself and then pulls back to get it for them.</p><p>There’s a freshly-made smoothie on the counter and a plate of chopped apples Killer will try – and probably succeed – to bully Kidd into eating once he wakes. Which will not be for a few hours still, unless miracles truly do happen.</p><p>So Killer had hoped to sneak in and out while nobody was around, even if he had adjusted for someone to catch him out of his self-imposed exile nonetheless.</p><p>It stings but not much because <em>it makes sense</em>, too. Kidd had explained it to them all, that first day, after he’d emerged from their quarters and Killer didn’t. <em>Give him time</em>, he’d said, with that pinched sort of frown that’s gotten rarer the tougher Kidd’s skin grew over the years, and:</p><p>
  <em>It’s out of his control.</em>
</p><p>Which, when it comes to Killer, equals to saying he’s walking a hellscape he can’t wake up from.</p><p>Killer is utterly silent as he places Heat’s favorite mug close enough for them to grab comfortably. Almost eerie, how flat his breathing can go, and Heat wonders if words are another one of those dangerous things right now. If any of the measures Killer is taking are actually helping him, or just driving him further and further towards insanity.</p><p>(Kidd didn’t mention anything about a cure. Tough skin or no, some horrors only become real when given a voice, and none of them had wanted to risk that fragile bit of hope they got left by asking.)</p><p>The coffee isn’t steaming anymore but it’s warm. Heat takes a sip. Tells him, “Thanks, Soldier”, careful to keep the nickname equal parts fond and teasing, same as always.</p><p>Killer doesn’t say anything; he hums, though, leaning back into his usual spot by the window. Sipping his smoothie while Heat dozes through the wait for the caffeine to hit, and somewhere in-between Killer pushes the bits of apple their way.</p><p>A concession, an apology, perhaps. Always so good at compromising, at making things work, and Heat wishes they could do more than standing by and watching him drown.</p><p>*</p><p>It turns out it <em>is</em> possible for Kidd to be conscious before noon.</p><p>“Heat, have ya seen–”</p><p>Clearly wearing whatever was easiest to stumble into and hair disheveled to an almost comical degree but <em>awake</em>. Any other time, Heat would’ve laughed.</p><p>“–ah.”</p><p>Not now, though, not with the worried edge to Kidd’s eyes that only settles when they land on Killer. Not with the subtle flick of that gaze across the room, where half the crew is chewing their way through a late breakfast with remarkable nonchalance.</p><p>“Anything you want, Boss?”</p><p>That’s Wire, voice dry with sarcasm, and Heat <em>does</em> laugh then. Kidd huffs at both of them to shut up, and Killer is already shifting to make room for him to slump against his shoulder.</p><p>Like this, it’s easy to pretend it’s just another morning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hearing Kamazo/Killer laugh in the anime absolutely obliterated me so here is my pitiful attempt at coping with it. It's more bittersweet than I wanted it to be, but everything about Killer makes me emo so no surprises there.</p><p>Killer drinks smoothies because I once looked up liquid diets for him and the lack of variety made me sad. Also Heat calls him "Soldier" because Killer hates the epithet the Marines gave him and they're not letting him live it down.</p><p>EDIT: Re-discovered <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/48CM25PMrhgcOcwRhjSeT3?si=7IOhgDhdRiC4BBQqUS0SeQ">Bye Bye Symphony by Foxy Shazam</a> and it's a real mood 😭</p><p><a href="https://kawaiibooker.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> / <a href="https://twitter.com/KBstories">twitter</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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